


Delivery Day

by opheliaandthesun



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Childbirth, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Inner Dialogue, Internal Conflict, My First AO3 Post, One Shot, POV Clarke Griffin, Post-Season/Series 02, Pregnancy, Pregnant Clarke Griffin, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:01:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28537032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/opheliaandthesun/pseuds/opheliaandthesun
Summary: When Clarke left after Mount Weather, she didn't realize she was pregnant. Now, months later, Clarke has to make a decision to either stand by her choice of being alone or to finally face her fears and go back to Arkadia, while in labor.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 12
Kudos: 220





	Delivery Day

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, this is my first time posting any fanfic so I hope you like it!  
> Until now I only had very complex unfinished stories on my hands but this idea popped into my brain while I was writing a paper on uterine contractions for a class lol and I had to write it and share it.  
> Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments! I'm open to criticism but of course, be nice! If anyone actually reads this THANK YOU and I hope you have a nice day!

Clarke was prepared, as always.

Everything she could think of to make this whole process even remotely possible was spread around the small cave. Pacing around the fire, she double-checked the plan.

First, she’d warm up the water she had brought from the river and stored in two stolen clay pots from a nearby village. Then she had prepared the cluster of furs from the small animals she had hunted the last few months, arranging some in her woven basked and the bigger ones in her makeshift bed for her to lie down and not die from the cold. She had stored fruits and dried meat and fish to last a few days, knowing that going out would probably be difficult for a few days.

It was fine. Just a few more hours, a little more pain and it’ll be worth it. She’d done worse than this, a little pain was nothing she couldn’t deal with.

Once again, a sharp all-encompassing pain spread through her core, all the way through her back and legs. Taking a sharp intake of air, Clarke counted 3 seconds. Not so bad. It was the second contraction in the last hour, but she could breathe and talk through then so it was fine.

Maybe it wouldn’t be much worse, people always exaggerated how much things hurt but this pain couldn’t be that bad. Sure, if she were on the ark, she’d be way more sedated than this, and now she’d just spread some peppermint paste on her belly and back to ease the discomfort but couldn’t really take anything more anesthetic since she had to be fully conscious throughout the whole process as she had no one else around. But that was also on her so she couldn’t really complain now.

Clarke crouched down to check her makeshift medical bag, really it was just a cloth bag with a knife, a needle she’d fastened out of some hairpins, some bandages cut from an old shirt, and an assortment of herbs and pastes she either gathered or 'found'.

Yeah, everything would be fine. Taking a sip of water, she put her canteen down and reached to take the stones from the fire and place them in the water bowls to warm them up.

Wiggling a little bit to pull herself up, Clarke quickly realized that was not going to happen. Huffing she crawled to the cave wall and pushed herself up, supporting herself with a hand on the rocky surface and the other on her lower back. Feeling a little confined, she walked to the entrance and leaned against the exterior moss-covered wall trying to catch her breath. Shoot, this was going to be hard. She couldn’t even stand up without making a fool of herself, but the birth was going to be a piece of cake, _right._

Maybe she was just fooling herself. Clarke knew, even in the ark, women had complications whilst giving birth, or newborns could need special medical attention that the mother -exhausted and delirious- couldn’t give on her own. Sure, Clarke herself had some experience as a doctor, and if her time on the ground was anything to go by, she was good as hell at surviving and she’d learned quite a lot, from treating Finn’s poisoned stab wound, Jasper’s fever from a stake to the heart, a whole camp of infected delinquents and all kinds of wounds and scrapes and she wouldn’t even go down the rabbit hole of counting them all. But maybe this one was too much, even for her.

No, going back was not an option.

She could do this, this was fine. She had a plan, she had it all figured out. She just had to keep walking and keep herself hydrated while she waited for the contractions to be longer and closer together and then she’d crouch on her bed furs, let gravity and biology do their job, and push. And push, and push, until the baby came out. Then she just had to clean them with the warm water, wrap them up in the smaller furs and lie back against the wall. Make sure her placenta was out, and the baby was fine, all fingers and toes and breathing properly, check their heartbeat and try to get them to latch. Her boobs were already hurting, so that was not going to be a problem. Then she would have…

A baby. A small little human who was all hers and didn’t know all the horrible stuff she’d done to get here, a little baby she could take care of and love and she thought with all the guilt and heartbreak her heart would be cold and hard by now but she hadn't even given birth, and she already loved this baby so much.

Another contraction hit, holding on to the wall, she grith her teeth and took a shaky breath.

Was she being naive? Clarke was a doctor so she knew the basics of birth, all the theoretical aspects of labor, and how the reproductive system worked, she even knew some grounder tricks from the time she had a go at a small grounder trading shop and the women there saw her swollen belly and started ranting advice and stories of their own kids’ birth.

But on the ark, they had doctors, and medicine and medical equipment, and a whole medical staff on call if need be. And on the ground, they had healers, who’d overseen dozens of births and passed down the necessary knowledge from generation to generation to make it a bearable experience for both the mother and the baby.

Clarke was alone. She could theorize all the plans she wanted but what if something went wrong? She could improvise when the time came, sure. She’d do anything so her baby would be ok. But what if she passed out from the pain? That could happen if it was in fact as hard as people liked to rant about. If something happened to her no one would be there to care for the baby. Not a doctor, or healer or her mom or, or…

No. She had left, it was her decision. She had saved them and paid the price, and she couldn’t be back there and see their faces and... And now it had been too long. Now they had moved on without her and showing up would just bring all the hurt back, and she couldn’t bear what they thought of her now. What he thought of her. He would be so mad when he found out. He didn’t even know and was probably already mad at her for turning her back on them. For leaving him to rebuild their home. But this? He would never forgive her for hiding her pregnancy for so long.

If she’d come back 6 months ago when she finally realized all her missed periods weren’t just caused by stress and earth physics messing with her system, and the little bump was too suspicious to toss it up to diet changes. If she came back then, they could have worked some understanding out. Find some way to share the burden and maybe co-parent. But back then she just couldn’t face it yet. Couldn’t face the reality of what she had done in the mountain, or look at Raven’s or Jasper’s face, or deal with her mother, or any of it.

Oh, her mother would know exactly what to do now.

But now she couldn’t go back. Because _now_ , she hadn’t just left the camp, and her people while she healed and tried to calm down the demons in her head on her own. Now she had hidden his kid from him. His kid. Sh*t.

Was she being selfish? If she did this, she’d be keeping her kid away from their father. Away from their aunt and their grandmother. Sure, she would do her best to keep them safe and happy and loved, but they would only have _her_. As much as being all the world of this tiny human sounded like such a wonderful thought, that was selfish. This baby deserved the world. This baby deserved to have a dad, like she did. Who would read stories at night, and teach them to walk and count and… hunt? She could do all those things herself and they would be fine but maybe they deserved a chance to have more than her. Clarke wiped a tear off her cheek with her sleeve. She missed her dad. He always knew what to do, always had the kindest and wisest words, always gave the best hugs.

Clarke ducked back inside the cave to stroke the fire. She looked down at her assortment of items displayed on the floor. Her whole birth plan was laid out in front of her. She looked back at the woods from her spot in the center of the cave. Arcadia was a two-hour walk from here. The sun was still at mid-afternoon, she could get there before sundown if she tried.

If.

She looked back at the cave floor. She had a plan. She’d be fine. She could do this. If everything went according to plan, they would be fine. If there were no complications during labor, they would be fine. If she didn’t pass out, if the baby was in the right position, if she dilated enough, if the baby latched properly, if she could hold it together… Maybe that was a lot of ‘ifs’…

Maybe she was just being stubborn. Maybe she was just endangering her life and her baby’s life, and preventing her baby from knowing their family and having a normal life. A life, not on the run.

Clarke took a deep breath.

If she went back now… Deep breath in… If she went back now. Deep breath out.

If. She went back now, she could have proper help during labor. She could have Abby and Jackson and all their medical knowledge and equipment at the med bay to take care of her and her baby. She would have her mom, to tell her what to do, and hold her and share all her motherly knowledge and comfort in this wild, dumb process that was having a child. No matter how rocky their relationship was, she was still her doctor, she was still her mom. The same mom who had had her, who had breastfed her, who had changed her diapers and soothe her to sleep and cleaned her scraped knees from running around Alpha station with Wells, who would still take care of her if she needed it.

And she would have Bellamy.

Even if he couldn’t look her in the face again for leaving, for not coming back sooner, for not telling him she was pregnant with their child, for not telling him that that one night of moonshine and stupid teenage fun that they promised was just one night before running back to fighting grounders and mountain men and all the deadly earth together, had resulted on this beautiful, scary, amazing, terrifying little life growing inside her and getting ready to come out.

Even if he never forgave her for all those things, he would still be a great dad. Clarke knew that. It was one of the thoughts she fought hardest not to think about because she knew. She knew it was true. Even if she did everything wrong, he would still do his best to care for his child. For this baby inside her belly. He’d spend all his life sharing his rations, keeping quiet, raising his sister. He came down to the ground and shot the chancellor just to be able to keep his little sister safe, even if he failed to notice she wasn’t so little anymore. And all he’d done since coming down was protect his sister and keep the kids at the dropship safe, taking care of everybody. Even if she could convince herself she could do this on her own, she knew the moment she stepped back in, he wouldn’t hesitate to step up and be this kid’s dad.

She had to go, right now.

* * *

Turns out, walking for 2 hours in the woods, trying to remain as quiet as possible and be as fast as possible while being in actual labor was not that easy. Who would have thought? She’d packed all her belongings in her pack and thrown a fur over her shoulders, tied her hair back to keep it from sticking to her face, peed, and took off in the direction of the Arcadia settlement 2 full hours ago.

And whilst her contractions had been pretty far apart and generally bearable when she left the security of the cave, by now they were at least 15 min apart each and lasted a full 20 seconds where she had to grip the nearest tree for support. Reminding herself that this would be worth it, that this was the best for her baby, she had kept going and going and going until she saw the lights. Now sweating and panting and exhausted, she stood at the edge of the tree line and looked at the walls seeing the guards in their stations, a few heads walking around inside, the rover just by the gate. Taking a steadying breath, she strode forward. There was no turning back now.

When she got close enough to the gates, she heard one of the guards, a voice she didn’t recognize yell out.

“Who’s there?”

Clarke opened her mouth to answer but a contraction hit just then, and she hunched over with a hand on her stomach and the other still in the air. She focused on her breathing for a few moments until it eased enough that she straightened and looked up to see a few guns up on the towers pointed in her direction, the guard from before still yelling at her something she couldn’t quite make out over the ringing in her ears.

Her eyes searched the faces in front of her until she heard a familiar voice.

“Clarke?” Miller’s confused shout rang out “Open the gates, it’s Clarke, let her in!”

There was a clicking sound and then the gates opened with a crackle. She hitched her pack higher on her shoulder and walked in. Miller was the first one on her, Harper close behind. Both in guard uniforms.

“Hey Clarke, are you okay?” said Harper with an edge to her voice, placing a hand on her forearm. Clarke looked at her friend's face to see her wide eyed with concern looking between her face and her belly. Yeah, there was no hiding that for even a second.

“My mom, where’s Abby? I need my mom,” she panted.

“On it," Miller said quickly before running the other way.

“Come on, I’ll take you to the med bay, you look pretty pale. Can you hear me okay, Clarke?’

Clarke tried to respond but instead just nodded and focused on her breathing and on not tripping on her feet since Harper was now leading her, or more like pushing her, in the direction of the med bay. “Back to work, nothing to see here” Harper exclaimed to the few people who’d stopped to stare on their way inside.

She wondered what they may be thinking. Did they recognize her? Did they care? She couldn’t immediately place anyone around from her closer circles, but they were still familiar enough that they probably heard the stories. And Harper and Miller… Did they hate her? Did they miss her? Looking at their faces made her realize how much she missed her delinquents. That wasn’t really important right now, they were helping and that was enough to know for now.

She sat her down on one of the cots in the main infirmary room and offered her a glass of water. Clarke put her pack down and laid the fur by her side.

”Thanks, Harp,” she smiled taking the glass from the girl’s offering hand.

Everything after that was a bit of a blur to Clarke. Her mum’s fast footsteps echoing through the Arks corridors, her wide eyes landing on her belly, speechless as Clarke tried to stand and explain… A contraction hit and her water broke right there, gushing out of her in a warm pool of liquid. Abby switched to doctor mode in a split second and lead her to a private room for the delivery while giving orders to Jackson and Harper who ushered through the room around her.

Then, all too soon, Clarke found herself sitting on the familiar too thin ark emitted sheets of a bed. Abby questioned her professionally about contraction frequency, took her blood pressure, listened to both hers and the baby's heartbeat, and propped her legs on the table letting her know she was 7 inches dilated.

Clarke distantly wondered what her mother was thinking of all this, if she was mad or disappointed or even happy to see her taking the current _situation_ into consideration. But the woman in from of her was all stoic and strong doctor Abby, and Clarke was grateful. A competent doctor was what she needed right now, above anything else.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and realized Abby was saying something to her.

“What?” she gasped.

"This is it, Clarke, you’re in active labor now. So we’re going to push when you feel the next contraction coming,” Abby said evenly, nodding her head encouragingly.

Clarke took a few deep breaths “okay,”

“Okay, whenever you’re ready,”

She gathered all her strength and when she felt the pressure building in her lower body, she pushed letting out a strangled scream.

"Okay, that's good, deep breaths now,”

Clarke felt tears slipping down her cheeks, overwhelmed with the pain. It was too much. Her head was spinning, her bones felt like too much, and her guts like they were being stabbed from all directions. She’s in a camp full of people, her mom right in front of her and she felt so alone. So scared. She tried to breathe and get her head straight. She had to do this, she could die trying but this baby needed to get out now. Her fingers tightened on the sheets and she pushed with a shout.

“That’s it, you’re doing great” Abby reassured her “Just a few more good pushes and it’ll be over”

This repeated about 10 more times, each one growing more painful than the other as Clarke herself grew more tired. Abby sturdily guiding her through it and Harper, with her soft bedside manner giving her a water canteen to sip on through the breaks.

She let her head fall back in the pillows, looking at the metal cold celling to beg for strength. She felt like she had given everything she could. She straightened and looked at her mom in the eyes, a little blurry from the tears in her own, and nodded jerkily once again. She breathed in to prepare to push and then the door slammed open.

Clarke’s eyes jumped at the sound, landing on a disheveled looking Bellamy. His hair was all thrown up messy curls, his face glistering from sweat and he was panting. He looked like he’d been running and like he couldn’t believe his eyes.

“Clarke-“ he gasped.

All at once, her heart burst in her chest. All the relief from seeing him felt like breathing again for the first time in a long time. Thick tears gathered in her eyes and, forgetting all the reasons she had to fear his reaction, she extended her hand in his direction. Silently begging him to come closer, to hold her, to take her pain away. A pleading “Bell” was all she managed to grit out.

He didn’t hesitate one more second as he crossed the space between them and grabbed her outstretched hand on his own, his other coming up to brush her loose hair from her knot back from her forehead.

“Bell, I’m so sorry” she shocked on a sob.

"Hey, it's okay. You're here, you're okay" he soothed, brushing the tear on her cheeks with his thumb, holding her head so gently and her hand so fiercely.

“Clarke” Abby’s voice snapped them out of the moment “I really need you to push, now”

She nodded and looked back at Bellamy who was staring at her belly. She squeezed his hand and he looked back at her face. She took a deep breath gathering her strength as her bottom lip trembled. He squeezed tighter, swallowing all his unanswered questions, and placed a soft kiss on her hairline.

“You got this, princess. I’m right here,” even now, after months apart this man somehow knew exactly what she needed from him without saying a word.

“On the next one, you gonna give me all you got,” Abby called

“Okay”

After a few intense minutes of pushing and breathing and gripping her hands and screaming through the pain, Abby was catching the baby and a pink, goo-covered little wrinkled body came into view over her bent knees and blankets and the most beautiful tiny cries filled the room.

Clarke slumped back against the arranged bed pillows, vaguely recognizing she was still holding onto Bellamy’s hand when she felt his fingertips whipping the sweat off her forehead. She gave him a tiny, exhausted smile in return and a moment later Abby was rearranging the medical gown she had slipped her into earlier, so it left her shoulders and upper chest exposed.

“Congratulations, baby. It’s a girl,” Abby announced, placing the whimpering baby on her naked chest.

She shared a watery smile with her mother and thanked her. As she turned to finish the job, cleaning everything up, and making sure the placenta was out and if stitches were needed.

Clarke just stared in awe at the tiny breathing thing on her chest. Her baby girl. She looked so fragile. So precious. How could she have made something so innocent? She stroked the soft turf on her head and big blue-gray eyes looked back at her, her mouth opening in an instinctual search for a nipple to latch onto. This was so worth it, f*ck her pride. Having her baby girl safe and healthy in her arms was everything she could ever ask for. She just knew at that moment she would do absolutely anything to keep her safe. To protect her from this deadly world and from anyone in it that dared touch a hair on her head.

“Clarke,” Bellamy’s soft murmur rang above her, startling her out of her tiny bubble of bliss. In his hand was a soft-looking blanket. She took it and swaddled the baby carefully, who in turn wiggled her tiny legs and went right back to feeding. “She’s perfect.”

She glanced at him again and his eyes looked almost wet-looking intently between the two girls. She looked down and ran a finger down her rosy cheek "I know" she breathed.

A moment passed in silence where Abby and Jackson busied themselves around the room and Clarke felt the sting of a few stitches beings placed on her vagina but both Bellamy and her were too transfixed at the sight of the newborn to even notice. Almost.

A couple of minutes later she unlatched, satisfied, and looked to be instantly asleep and a heavy sigh announced the questions Clarke dreaded the most.

“Is she?” Bellamy started hesitantly.

"She's yours”, she interrupted smiling sheepishly.

He let out a deep breath through his nose "Are... Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I- I had a period the week after Raven came down, so I know it can't be Finn’s... And I mean", She paused running her fingers through the curly black turf on top of the newborn’s head, smirking slightly at him. "I'm pretty sure this just confirms my point,”

He chuckled under his breath and shifted his weight in his feet.

"Do you want to hold her?"

He looked up from the baby girl's face, a little wide-eyed, and nodded. She passed her carefully, both making sure to mind the blankets wrapping her and to support her head. Clarke watched as the baby's eyes fluttered in her sleep, all rosy cheeks and crinkled nose in Bellamy’s arms.

He held her so carefully and the expression on his face spoke of adoration, and love and awe. He lowered his head to place a kiss on the crown of her head, screwing his eyes shut. When he opened then, tears slipped out.

Clarke wiped her own eyes on the bed blanket.

"I'm sorry," she sniffed, "I should’ve told you sooner... I... I should've come back sooner."

He nodded gravely, his brow furrowing slightly but not looking up.

"Why didn't you?" he asked quietly. Like posing the question would somehow make her vanish into thin air. It stung to hear the hurt in his voice. To know that after all, he sounded more scared than angry. Maybe that was just what holding your baby did to you.

"I just... After a while, I wasn't sure how.” She paused before forcing herself to continue “And I kinda convinced myself that I didn't need to, that maybe I could do it all alone," swallowing hard she added, "but she deserves better than that."

It was quiet for a few seconds as he processed what she’d said.

"You're not gonna have to,"

"What?" she asked confused.

"To do this alone.” He clarified finally looking up at her “You're never gonna have to do this alone, Clarke. I'm here. And if you ever feel like you _really_ do have to leave, then I'm going with you.” He said and the determination in his voice was as evident as the love she was also feeling for their baby girl and as the fear. Fear of losing them.

“I so angry at you for leaving. I don't wanna feel that way anymore. I don't think I can after seeing you birth my child." He added with a smirk at the end.

“Thank you… For not hating me.” She smiled sadly "I just, after everything, I needed time to work things out myself but then I got scared of what everybody would think. Wanheda with a child. So I pushed it off, and then I was afraid it was too late. That you’d hate me for leaving”

“I could never hate you, Clarke. I don’t know what you were so afraid of but even if I did, somehow, hate you… I would never turn my back on you or my child.”

“I know.”

They held each other’s gazes for a long moment. Clarke knew there was still a lot to talk though, a lot of hurt to unpack, and 8 months of separation to analyze. But at this moment, she couldn’t be more grateful even if she was so tired, of worrying and of actually giving birth.

“You’re gonna be a great dad, Bellamy”

He let out a breathy laugh at that, “I’m a dad”

"Yeah," she said around a yawn.

“You should get some rest, momma”

“Hmm, stay with me” she murmured.

Bellamy looked into her eyes with a soft expression and moved to sit on the bed. He passed her the baby and put his arm around her as she leaned on him, resting her head on his shoulder. Both listening to the sound of each other breathing. They stayed like that long enough for her to be on the verge of sleep.

“Does she have a name yet?” he murmured.

“Huh… No, not yet… Thought maybe we could figure that out, together.”

“Together,” he agreed and placed a kiss in her hair "I'd like that.”


End file.
